So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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