giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
