as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
