We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You can't just leave with hair like that
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
