Fuck appropriateness.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
