he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
