Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
