just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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