; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just tell him i said nine months
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
