i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
