Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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