I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
