I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
