I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
