great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
