And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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