I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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