This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
