is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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