We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
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