why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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