dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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