so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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