it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize