haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
