Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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