im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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