If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
