Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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