they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
