All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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