i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I need to align my fucking chakras
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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