he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
