Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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