saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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