Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
