I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
