Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
