thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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