We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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