I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
