This girl is more easily done than said...
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
