pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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