Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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