found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
