He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
