i permit you to call me
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize