Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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