I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
