so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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