New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
