kristin has been a bad kristin
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
