i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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