booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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