I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
