So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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