You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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