I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
