My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
