just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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